Monday, August 2, 2010

Phase One: Complete


I'm one step closer to being an officially-rostered roller girl. I have completed the Basic Skills portion of my training. Now I move on to pack hours - ten hours (or maybe ten two-hour sessions, I'm not sure how they count it) of practicing skating really close to other girls without knocking anyone over by accident or getting knocked down on purpose.  Phase Three is scrimmage hours.  Phase Four is getting voted into the league.

Even though I'm happier than I've been in ages, Stu is still displeased about this little adventure of mine. When I get all excited about my minor triumphs from practice, he makes a point of saying "congratulations" in the least-congratulatory tone possible. I know he's just being protective of me because he loves me and wants to keep me safe, but I'm tired of making safe decisions.

Skating is the greatest part of my day.  I'm pushing myself as hard as I can for two hours straight.  I'm way past sweaty.  I'm hanging out with strong, courageous women.  And I'm having so freaking much fun.  There is no autism.  There are no IEPs.  There are no guilt trips or other family arguments.  There are no conventions of bullshit politeness.  There's just me, trying to learn a new game one skill at a time.  There's genuine camaraderie as girls cheer each other on through their speed tests.  There's freedom.  There's power.

Sorry it still bothers you, Honey, I really am.  But I have to go work on my arm whips tonight.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, I love it! You found something just for you. What a great idea! I think I need to do the same.

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  2. It's easy for me to say that I think this is awesome but I think I can understand how Stu feels about it too.

    Or at least how I would feel in his position. I remember that sort of territorial testosterone-driven protective instinct every time my first girlfriend got new ink. And I remember the seething jealousy of exclusion when my last girlfriend would have a "girl's night out."

    I don't pretend to understand this complex emotional landscape any better than you do, but I have navigated it before. It's not rational, but it is very real.

    I hope, though, that he doesn't let his discomfort gnaw at him the way I tend to, because clearly this is a great thing for you :)

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  3. I don't know you very well, but it seems like you and roller derby are a perfect match. Enjoy. I hope Stu comes around.

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  4. I love that you're doing this - for yourself, for your family (yes, they, too will reap the benefits of 'mommy time') and for all of your blog followers who eagerly await the next derby update & gratuitous photos of your bruised ass. ;)

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Keep it civil, people.