On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
Bedtime in our house is often preceded by intense sensory seeking. Jumping on the bed, headstands on the couch, being buried under a dozen stuffed animals, throwing said stuffed animals in the air - Ryan works all the craziness out of his system, then collapses into the sleep of the righteous.
Tonight's theatrics were extra special.
"Cover me?!" he demanded, as usual. I pulled the blanket over his head, put a pillow on his back, and lay down on top of him. He giggled. "Tickle me? Stop it! Tickle me?" On and on. He launched into some maniacal script, over and over, giggling.
Things were getting stupid. So I whacked him with a pillow.
This, apparently, was the greatest thing ever.
"Again?" Oh, ok.
"More splatting? Please?" (He spontaneously named this game "Splatting." All on his own.)
Ryan insisted on being beaten with a pillow, continuously, for several minutes. I thwacked him with my full strength, and he laughed. When my arms got tired I passed the pillow off to Stu, who somehow couldn't muster as much enthusiasm for beating our son.
"Can I have more splatting?!?"
When I could no longer bring myself to hitting the kid with a pillow, I tried to calm the mood by rubbing his back and reading some stories. Ryan's favorite moose decided to perform an interpretive dance to Frog and Toad. The moose was hopping all over the pillow, on my head, on my face. I tried to maintain composure as the moose bounced madly off my glasses.
"No. Are you listening?"
"Yes." Bounce, bounce, bounce. He actually was listening. Even while bouncing the moose all over the place, Ryan was still able to fill in the blanks I left in the story. Boyfriend takes his multitasking seriously.
By the third story, he was calm, quiet, struggling to keep his eyes open. He was almost asleep when I kissed him goodnight.
If your child is bouncing off the walls and making you crazy, I highly recommend beating him with a pillow. It's good for everyone concerned.