Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Snow Week, part 2: OCD edition

Being cooped up inside for a while sometimes prompts people to develop new hobbies. Ryan's snow-week-inspired activities include a variety of obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

Near as I can tell, Ryan's new house rules are as follows:

1) All doors must be closed at all times. Doorways that do not have doors in them are defective and a cause for screaming. Doors that are already closed must occasionally be opened and closed again to make sure they really are shut.

2) All toilets must be closed. Toilets may require multiple inspections and re-closings to make sure they are properly shut.

3) All holes must be sealed. A "hole" shall be defined as any space between two solid objects; notable example include the space between the toilet and the lid and the slats of the heating vents. "Sealing" shall be defined as blocking a hole from sight; methods may include closing a heating vent, draping a towel over the closed toilet, or blocking an open air vent with a box/chair/flammable toy.

4) Certain household objects should not be displayed openly and must be either hidden in random drawers or thrown down the basement stairs; items may be stashed in Ryan's closet but only if they did not originate in Ryan's room. Objectionable items include soap dispensers, hand towels, remote controls, reading glasses, outgoing mail, mops, coasters, phones, and anything normally kept on top of a desk. Toys, on the other hand, are acceptable on all household surfaces and floors.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Keep it civil, people.