Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I know my ABCs. Can we stop singing now?

One of Ryan's favorite "screen time" activities involves trolling for alphabet song videos on YouTube. He types "alphabet" into the search bar and follows an endless trail of related videos from around the world - India seems to generate a ton of content, and Ryan delights in the exotic Ex Why Zed endings.
Alphabet Rap. So offensively bad.
His preference seems to be for animations in which the letters have eyes and legs. He's not picky about animation style - the crappier, the better. The songs are usually as obnoxious as the graphics. There's often a train that transports apples and cats and xylophones along with their corresponding starting letters.
Shaun the Train, with TWO objects per letter!
Russian alphabet train.

The related videos also link to numbers songs, nursery rhymes, and other preschool fare. 
Their noses disturb me.
Think Whack-a-Mole.
I've become schooled in the subtle differences between renditions of the Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed song - sometimes there are girl monkeys! Sometimes they sing a whole "No little monkeys" verse! The more versions of the song I hear, the more pissed off I get with the Mama - why the hell does she keep calling the doctor? He's going to give her the same advice every time, and she clearly lacks the parenting skills to stop her uncoordinated little monkeys from jumping on the bed.
The one video series Ryan has found that I actually like is a BBC show called The Alphablocks. It's a phonics show - when the letters hold hands they make sounds. Each letter has a distinct personality - M is always hungry, L is an opera singer, X is a superhero, N is Scottish and gloriously negative.

I had hoped that by age almost-8 we'd be done with alphabet songs, but this is Ryan's comfort zone.

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