Friday, November 29, 2013

End of an era

So, it looks like I can never play roller derby again.

At practice on Tuesday I sustained a concussion. A minor concussion, but my third, and these things apparently have a cumulative effect - the more you have, the more susceptible you are to getting them in the future, and the more damage they can do.
Photo by Ryan Loewy, about an hour before this stupid concussion.
I don't remember who hit me - probably a bad sign. We were scrimmaging, I was lead jammer (this is a good thing), the opposing jammer was closing in on me as I approached the pack, I started to call off the jam (end the round of play so the other team can't score) and then I was on my back. And then my head hit the floor. Like with my previous concussion, at the time I thought I was ok so I kept playing; I didn't start to feel wrong until I was halfway home.

The point is, it would be really stupid for me to put myself in a position where the risk of hitting my head again is high. Never mind that I got my first concussion in my shower...

So I'm in mourning.

Roller derby has been an indescribably important part of my life for the last 3 1/2 years. Yes, I will stay involved, probably learn to officiate or train rookies or something, but it won't be the same. Hitting people has been very cathartic, and I'll need to find a healthy substitute to keep myself sane. Also, after playing derby, working out at the gym is even more unappealing by comparison. And being part of a ref crew is, I'm sure, a different social dynamic than being on a team.

Stu keeps telling me not to make any decisions until I'm feeling better, but I don't see any responsible decision that ends with me playing again.

If you need me, I'll be sobbing quietly in the corner.

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Keep it civil, people.